This morning I’ve been prepping to make the most of my Women of the World Festival this week. I’m aiming to take myself as far out of my comfort zone as I can and address some holes in my knowledge. Feeling sated with all things female, (and gently steaming amongst the drying laundry – joys of multi-tasking at home*) I flipped over to Facebook and was #memorymugged by a paragraph I wrote two years ago – see below.

I don’t often do the Facebook retread thing but I was going to share this again on Facebook  with a bit of an update – but somehow to do that now was making me feel a bit queasy. As if it’s overshare, attention-seeking. It isn’t or it’s not intended to be.

I’m simply trying to find routes to articulate what I held onto for years as a trauma, a shame, a shock.

I’m sharing this from 2 years ago because it marked the watershed when I started to talk about this stuff and it was also the first step into my Women’s Equality Party journey.

At the time I wrote this to the author of the attached blog:

“Hats off to you – When I was/am going through this I found for the first time in my life I was totally out of vocabulary. I still am. It isn’t a one time thing – it’s been the single most defining (non)experience of my life and there is nowhere to put a value on the (non)experience of recurrent miscarriage. It’s now the (non)experience which most defines who I am, what I do, which friendships have sustained and which haven’t and I didn’t choose it, unlike almost everything else I have done and do. I didn’t want sympathy and at the time I thought it would go away and all would work out in the end. It didn’t and it hasn’t. I still don’t want sympathy but it’s hard to join back in again when life takes you off on a very different track from (almost) everyone else you know. Fortunately – as discussed previously on this social media page – I have the best of husbands.

Thanks for finding the words – I haven’t read them all, frankly I don’t want to, but I’m glad someone is finding a way to talk about this.”