CONTENT WARNING: pregnancy loss and IVF risk

It was #IVFday earlier this week. I’m Sending congrats to the many IVF parents I know.

And, Not wishing to be the ghoul at the feast but just want to say to men and women of Facebook, employers and career-minded folk, landlords and anyone who in some way contributes to societal inequalities that cause people to delay starting a family, IVF is not a pay-as-you-go, results guaranteed service.

World #IVFday was started to celebrate the advance in science

IVF IS an amazing advance for same sex couples or single people who want a child. It can be the lucky number for people who find each other later in reproductive life but its success is vastly increased according to your age (or your donor’s age) when you start it.

It can be a back up if you need to freeze eggs/sperm/embryos because of medical treatments but age is still the crucial factor. (And freezing isn’t a guarantee either)

But it’s not always successful. In fact it’s less likely to be successful than you might realise.

You just don’t hear that from many voices.

In the UK, IVF is inconsistently available in the UK.

Success rates of each cycle (ie achieving a live birth) are less than 1 in 3 for women under 30 and decrease to 4% for women aged 44. (See link)
Rates that you might see quoted by private clinics include IVF pregnancies but pregnancy loss is common in IVF.

The physical, emotional and mental toll of IVF can be tough esp if you’re dealing w other external pressure.

If you’re on the journey, I wish you all the luck. I know how hard it can be. I hope you come home with a child.

If you’re coming out the other side on the wrong side of those stats, it does get better. It takes time to heal and effort to reframe your life. You are not alone and you are not a failure (Although it may often feel like it)

If you’re thinking about delaying parenthood because there is always IVF, please please inform yourself. The glossy info won’t make it easy to see the risks and the disappointments.

I send a piece of my ♥️to everyone who might be struggling with this from any angle.

I’m not saying don’t try IVF. That’s not my message. I’m saying don’t rely on it.

I’m not resentful of all the lucky parents. I just think the IVF industry should be more open about success rates, and that society should support people to start families when nature has designed us to – whether through IVF or the old-fashioned way (if that’s available to you).

And always remember family planning is a feminist issue but it’s definitely NOT a woman’s issue. Educate yourselves men and parents educate your boys.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ivf/