And when the caring is over ….what next?

I hid

I went out into the world

I laughed

I shouted

I told a story maybe true

Maybe a myth

I dressed up

I dressed down

I picked berries from a bush & and ate them direct without washing them first.

I escaped the weather. All of the weather

I escaped from my past into my past.

I felt desolate. I felt joy

I thought about one thing and many things all at the same time.

I took time because time had taken from me.

I shed a skin.

The carer that I was has gone too

I made a picture every day. And walked in surprise places

I read a story book and I listened to bird song and crickets.

I read a politics book

I challenged my view of my self in the world.

I gave a presentation to a wall of silence perched and disembodied in a tiny frame in a PowerPoint, in a conservatory reflected in a hundred points of light.

I wrote a politics

I wrote a poem

I swam (6 strokes bc COVID came too), I ate, I wept, I ached, I burned.

I packed up a life and I set it free.

And then sitting quietly my grief came and sat quietly with me.

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